As received by email... Thanks Mango Tango :-*
1. Alibaba and the Forty Thieves is now Alibaba and the Thirty Thieves... 10 were laid off!
2. Batman and Robin is now Batman and Pedro! Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate!
3. Ironman now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs!
4. Women finally marrying for love... and not money!!!
5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one!
6. Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four!
7. The credit crunch is getting bad, isn't it? I mean I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America's third biggest lender!!!
8. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon!!
9. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
A: In a few weeks...... nothing!!!
10. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Hones".
11. Money talks. Trouble is, it knows only one word - Goodbye!!
Showing posts with label Investments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Investments. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
CBK Problem!
I slept around 11:30PM last night and my eyes were wide open at around 3:00AM! I could not go back to sleep :-S So I went on facebook, checked my email messages, rearranged things in my bathroom, surfed the internet... Oh and read on Yahoo! that Natasha Richardson died after ski accident :-(..... still, not feeling sleepy! Went on youtube and watched some videos, but no.. that did not work either! I turned off the light and closed my eyes but I just could not sleep!
I decided to go back online and check my bank account(s), and one of which is an account with CBK. I remember opening that account for one purpose only, which was buying Tijari Funds. Its been a while since I checked that account... and when I logged in I saw that they have been deducting KD2 each month since August!!
It states that when your balance falls below KD100 they start deducting KD2 as a fee. I always kept it at, at least, that minimum. So get this...
August 5th '08, my balance was around KD100
August 6th '08, I withdrew KD50 and my balance was around KD50
August 7th '08, I transfer KD51 to have a new balance of around KD101...
Then my account started to drop KD2/month totaling to KD16 with a credit of KD2 in January.. so they added KD2 for some reason and deducted KD16 in the course of eight months! I called the call center and he said this was done because at one point in time it got to less than KD100, so they decided to do so... I am redeeming my fund on Monday and closing the account too on the same day!
I still can't go to sleep! Ughhhhhhh!
UPDATE I:
Its now 5:30, I am still awake... Gonna watch Grey's Anatomy S5E17
UPDATE II:
And I arrived to work LATE! How is that possible when I woke up around 4 hours prior to my actual wake up time...
UPDATE III:
AlTabtabaie was interviewed on BBC - Arabic FM while I was driving to work, and he used a hadith to describing the parliament dissolving...
He said: أبغض الحلال عند الله حصل وهو حل المجلس
Isn't that HARAM?!
I decided to go back online and check my bank account(s), and one of which is an account with CBK. I remember opening that account for one purpose only, which was buying Tijari Funds. Its been a while since I checked that account... and when I logged in I saw that they have been deducting KD2 each month since August!!
It states that when your balance falls below KD100 they start deducting KD2 as a fee. I always kept it at, at least, that minimum. So get this...
August 5th '08, my balance was around KD100
August 6th '08, I withdrew KD50 and my balance was around KD50
August 7th '08, I transfer KD51 to have a new balance of around KD101...
Then my account started to drop KD2/month totaling to KD16 with a credit of KD2 in January.. so they added KD2 for some reason and deducted KD16 in the course of eight months! I called the call center and he said this was done because at one point in time it got to less than KD100, so they decided to do so... I am redeeming my fund on Monday and closing the account too on the same day!
I still can't go to sleep! Ughhhhhhh!
UPDATE I:
Its now 5:30, I am still awake... Gonna watch Grey's Anatomy S5E17
UPDATE II:
And I arrived to work LATE! How is that possible when I woke up around 4 hours prior to my actual wake up time...
UPDATE III:
AlTabtabaie was interviewed on BBC - Arabic FM while I was driving to work, and he used a hadith to describing the parliament dissolving...
He said: أبغض الحلال عند الله حصل وهو حل المجلس
Isn't that HARAM?!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Funny Financial Terms
Inspired by KTDP.
Auditor: Person that arrives after battle to finish off the wounded.
Bank: A place that will lend you money only when you don't need it.
Bear Market: Eight months when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
Broker: Poorer than you were last year.
Budget: Written proof that you can't afford the things you want.
Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
CEO: Chief embezzlement officer.
CFO: Chief fraud officer.
Day Trader: A more socially acceptable gambling addict.
EBIT: Earnings before irregularities and tampering.
EBITDA: Earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.
EPS: Eventual prison sentence.
FRS: Fantasy reporting standards.
P/E Ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Profit: A man that prays to God.
Standard and Poor (S&P): Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Market Correction: The term your broker uses for a stock market crash.
Auditor: Person that arrives after battle to finish off the wounded.
Bank: A place that will lend you money only when you don't need it.
Bear Market: Eight months when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
Broker: Poorer than you were last year.
Budget: Written proof that you can't afford the things you want.
Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
CEO: Chief embezzlement officer.
CFO: Chief fraud officer.
Day Trader: A more socially acceptable gambling addict.
EBIT: Earnings before irregularities and tampering.
EBITDA: Earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.
EPS: Eventual prison sentence.
FRS: Fantasy reporting standards.
P/E Ratio: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Profit: A man that prays to God.
Standard and Poor (S&P): Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Market Correction: The term your broker uses for a stock market crash.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Stock Market Freefall... Where is the Bottom?
So how does this really work? Is it a global meltdown? When the US stock exchange/markets catch a flu... the rest of the world starts coughing and sniffling?
So how about Contrarian Theory? I really am not an expert hehehe but how about that? Invest NOW!!!
Example: Dogs of the Dow is arguably an example of a simple contrarian strategy. When purchasing the stocks in the Dow Jones Industrial Average that have the highest relative dividend yield, an investor is often buying many of the "distressed" companies among those 30 stocks. These "Dogs" have high yields not because dividends were raised, but rather because their share prices fell. The company is experiencing difficulties, or simply is at a low point in their business cycle. By repeatedly buying such stocks, and selling them when they no longer meet the criteria, the "Dogs" investor is systematically buying the least-loved of the Dow 30, and selling them when they become loved again.
During the Dot com bubble an investor would have profited by avoiding the technology stocks that were the subject of most investors' attention. Asset classes such as value stocks and real estate investment trusts were largely ignored by the financial press at the time, despite their historically low valuations, and many mutual funds in those categories lost assets. These investments experienced strong gains amidst the large drops in the overall US stock market when the bubble unwound.
Check this video on youtube.. Embedding it was disabled.
And history repeats itself?
So how about Contrarian Theory? I really am not an expert hehehe but how about that? Invest NOW!!!
Example: Dogs of the Dow is arguably an example of a simple contrarian strategy. When purchasing the stocks in the Dow Jones Industrial Average that have the highest relative dividend yield, an investor is often buying many of the "distressed" companies among those 30 stocks. These "Dogs" have high yields not because dividends were raised, but rather because their share prices fell. The company is experiencing difficulties, or simply is at a low point in their business cycle. By repeatedly buying such stocks, and selling them when they no longer meet the criteria, the "Dogs" investor is systematically buying the least-loved of the Dow 30, and selling them when they become loved again.
During the Dot com bubble an investor would have profited by avoiding the technology stocks that were the subject of most investors' attention. Asset classes such as value stocks and real estate investment trusts were largely ignored by the financial press at the time, despite their historically low valuations, and many mutual funds in those categories lost assets. These investments experienced strong gains amidst the large drops in the overall US stock market when the bubble unwound.
Check this video on youtube.. Embedding it was disabled.
And history repeats itself?
Saturday, October 27, 2007
ZAIN or Not Zain?
I did this chart for ZAIN (previously known as MTC: Mobile Telecom Co) for the period Oct 4th - Oct 25th.
I looked and gazed for a while looking at ZAIN's yo yo performance then decided to erase some lines and add a question mark!
It reads ZAIN in Arabic... kinda! How about that? Is ZAIN a ZAIN company after all?
(ZAIN means good)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
KSE
My Comment... WOW!!!
KSE price index starts Wednesday session with a 38-point up
Economics 4/18/2007 9:40:00 AM
KSE price index starts Wednesday session with a 38-point up KUWAIT, April 18 (KUNA) -- The price index at Kuwait Stock Exchange came up 38 points in early trading Wednesday and was by 9:30 at 10,573.7 points.Volume came to 47.998 million shares changing hands in 1,479 trades worth KD 18.8 million.The bourse ended yesterday's session with a hike of 66 points at 10,535.7 points, keeping above the 10,000 barrier crossed March 14.(end) ris KUNA 180940 Apr 07NNNN
KSE price index still on the rise, at 10,561.8 points
Economics 4/18/2007 11:43:00 AM
KSE price index still on the rise, at 10,561.8 points KUWAIT, April 17 (KUNA) -- Close to midday in Wednesday's trading session at Kuwait Stock Exchange, the price index is still on the rise, putting on 26.1 points by 11:36 a.m.Volume came to 572.2 million shares changing hands in 18.044 trades worth KD 1.3 billion.The bourse was on the rise since early trading today and the market had been upbeat since March 14 when the index broke the 10,000 point barrier.One Dinar (KWD) is USD 3.45839.(end) wsa KUNA 181143 Apr 07NNNN
Economics 4/18/2007 11:43:00 AM
KSE price index still on the rise, at 10,561.8 points KUWAIT, April 17 (KUNA) -- Close to midday in Wednesday's trading session at Kuwait Stock Exchange, the price index is still on the rise, putting on 26.1 points by 11:36 a.m.Volume came to 572.2 million shares changing hands in 18.044 trades worth KD 1.3 billion.The bourse was on the rise since early trading today and the market had been upbeat since March 14 when the index broke the 10,000 point barrier.One Dinar (KWD) is USD 3.45839.(end) wsa KUNA 181143 Apr 07NNNN
Kuwait Stock Exchange at record 1.8 billion in value
Economics 4/18/2007 12:46:00 PM
Kuwait Stock Exchange at record 1.8 billion in value KUWAIT, April 18 (KUNA) -- Kuwait Stock Exchange Wednesday saw trade worth a record KD 1.8 billion by 12 noon.Volume was at a record too, with trading of 747.7 million shares through 22, 923 spot transactions.The index had by that time put on 35.9 points to come to 10,571.6 points.The session was in positive mood since early morning and seems to be still in the green spree that started March 14 when the price index broke the 10,000 point benchmark.(end) kq.wsa KUNA 181246 Apr 07NNNN
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